FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (ENTONA VALLEY) — Campers, you no doubt are aware of the strange issues that have begun to appear here at our peaceful place on the lake. Well, I am happy to announce that we should start to get some answers to your burning questions, as KMK has dispatched renowned researcher Calvin to investigate the reports and strange sightings.

Calvin will be staying here at the camp for the remainder of the session, and campers are asked not to interfere with his investigation. If you have information you would like to share, please bring it to a counselor and we will pass it along to Calvin for analysis.

KMK and Calvin were gracious enough to prepare a handy field guide to keep you all informed and safe while at camp. Please remember to stay out of off-limits areas and make sure you are listening to the radio and your counselors for important updates.