Investigation Day 3 – The Phenomenologist


What the hell exactly is a phenomenologist? Sounds like a made up profession to me. Granted, you could argue that any profession is ultimately made up, including my self appointment as lead investigator for this unofficial investigation we are deeply invested in at this point of the week….

Anyway, back on track here. So I get a call from Trevor a few days into camp last year, and he tells me to not worry about all the weird stuff going on in the background and just focus on keeping you campers safe and the rest of the camp staff engaged with closing out the season. Fine, that’s cool and reasonable, but then he drops the bomb on me: KMK is sending one of their top eggheads in to oversee the “weird stuff” going on. I don’t like being micromanaged. Mr. Kensington is tough to work for but one thing he doesn’t do: Come to the campsite. Hell, his office door has been locked since I’ve been here. He’s a busy guy and loves to send those memos and the occasional voicemail. I personally thrive under a lack of direct supervision, so obviously I don’t love having corporate sniffing around while I’m trying to run camp.

Anyway, Calvin shows up and takes up a bunk in the admin cabin with me and Patrick. Dude seemed pretty cool, but he was kinda quiet. He’d be out at all hours of the day setting up equipment and taking notes, and was always talking about numbers and creatures and swamp gas blah blah blah. The only thing I noticed was that he loved to steal my soda from the fridge and wouldn’t own up to it or buy replacements. I know the dude has to be making six figures with that fake title and he has to steal from us little guys?

He had this fancy laptop he’d punch all his notes into. Plugged it in to some port in the wall I never noticed before and said only KMK staff were allowed to access. Whatever. He had some sick games on the laptop (Castle Quest ROCKS) and spent a lot of time making this fancy brochure for us to hand out to the campers. Some kind of survey. He was all geeked out about it, saying “Graphic Design was his passion”.

He left early I think. All I know is there was an empty fridge and a stack of paperwork. Total chode.

Here’s what I’ve got regarding “Mr. Phenomena”

KMK has a “phenomenology” division listed on the corporate site (holy 1995 Batman) –

The brochure Calvin designed to collect information about sightings at camp:

Some of Calvin’s favorite quotes (dude was a broken record):
KMK Enterprises would like to remind all campers that any unfounded rumors or disparaging remarks about the camp or the events that occurred therein are illegal and can be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Cryptids are friends not foes, IF they exist
I don’t like that auto-DJ thing, can you turn that off?
Please give me back my laptop, that’s KMK property
Graphic Design is my passion
I didn’t steal your soda, you drank all those yourself you moron